L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
My God, my phone just does not work up here.
How are we ever going to live?
Thanks.
Oh, there's a counselor. Excuse me.
- Where is the Navajo bunk? - It's right over there.
Welcome to Camp Walden. I'm Marva Kulp, your camp director.
Now girls, let's find our duffels as quickly as we can.
We have a big first day ahead of us.
I'm going to turn the bullhorn over
to my daughter and right-hand man, Marva Jr.
Marva, bunk assignments if you please.
All right. Here we go. Listen up.
We got Berg, Kate, Iroquois. Berg, Lily, Chickasaw.
Wait a minute. I thought this was a boy's camp.
Boys?
OK. Found my duffel.
Now, the question is, how do I get it out?
OK. I can do it.
OK. No I can't.
- You must be new. - How can you tell?
You didn't know how to grab your duffle
before the apes tossed it into the heap.
- You need some serious help. - Thanks. It's the yellow one.
Whoa. Now that's my kind of woman.
- Yo, tie-dye girl. - Hmm?
Could you give me a hand with my duffle? It's the yellow one.
Sure.
Oh, that? No problem.
Hey, you're from California? Do you, like, live in Hollywood?
Do you live next door to a star?
What are you two, Lucy and Ethel?
I've never been to Hollywood.
I live in Napa. That's northern California.
- I live next to a vineyard. - A what-yard?
A vineyard. It's where you grow grapes to make wine.
That's what we do. Me and my dad. We own a vineyard.
- Parker, Hallie. - Right here.
- Arapaho. - That's where I am!
Come on, you guys.
So, uh... either of you by any chance know how to play poker?
Nah, never played it before.
No? Gee, what a shame.
So uh... how much cash did you guys bring with you this summer?
Whoa! Who is in there?
OK, Arapahos, let's go.
Well, here we are. Camp Walden for girls.
We traveled all the way from London for this?
It's rather picturesque, don't you think?
That's not exactly the term
I think I would have used.
Right. Shall we review your mother's list?
- Now, let's see. Vitamins. - Check.
- Minerals. - Check.
- List of fruits and vegetables. - Check. Check.
Check for fruit. Check for vegetables.
Sun block, lip balm, insect repellent,
stationery, stamps,
photographs of your mother, grandfather
and your trusty butler, me.
Got it all, I think.
Oh. And here's a little something from your grandfather.
A spanking new deck of cards.
Maybe you'll find somebody who can whip your tush at poker.
Well, I doubt it. But thanks.
And thanks for bringing me here, Martin.
Now, you remember, if you change your mind
and want me to collect you at the end of camp,
- I'm only a phone call away. - Thanks but I'll be fine.
Really. See you in eight weeks, Marty old pal.
Missing you already, queen of my heart.
- Have fun, old bean. - I will.
- Toodle-loo. - Toodle-loo.
Airport, please.
Such a feeling coming over me
- Hurry up! - OK, I will!
There is wonder in the things I see
Not a cloud in the sky Got sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
Mom, Mom! Are you there? Pick up! Mom!
No, no, no. Slow down. Back you go.
You've got to have some too, OK?
It smells good.
- I'll save you a seat, Annie. - OK, thanks.
Excuse me, girls, I've got to have a scoop
of these gorgeous strawberries.
- Would you care for some? - No, thanks. I'm allergic.
Oh, that's too bad. How about you, dear?
Oh, sorry. I wish I could but I can't. I'm allergic.
Yes, allergic.
You just told me that. How did you get over there?
Oh. First day of camp. You'll have to excuse the old girl.
At least I'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers.
Ah, well, you know, sugar in the salt shakers.
Now where did she go?
Hela!
Touche.
- Good job. - All right. Excellent, kids.
The winner and still undefeated champ,
from Napa, California, Miss Hallie Parker.
- Yay, Hallie! - Do we have any challengers?
Come on, ladies. Let's not be damsels in distress here.
I'll take a whack at it.
OK. We've got ourselves a challenger. Suit up.
Oh, thanks.
Here I go.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Go, Annie!
- Fencers ready? - Ready.
All set.
On guard! Fence!
Touche!
- Nice catch. - Thanks.
Touche!
- Let me help you. - No, let me help you!
- Why did you do that? - You pushed me in!
- I did not! - OK! That was quite a show!
I think we've got ourselves a new camp champ.
From London, England, Miss Annie James!
All right, girls. Shake hands. Come on, girls.
- They look alike! - Look at them!
Oh, my.
- Why is everyone staring? - Don't you see it?
- See what? - The resemblance between us.
Resemblance? Between you and me?
Let me see. Turn sideways.
Now the other way.
Well, your eyes are much closer together than mine.
Your ears... Well, don't worry. You'll grow into them.
You teeth are a little crooked.
Oh, and that nose! Don't worry, dear. Those things can be fixed.
- Want me to deck her for you? - Hold on.
I'm not quite finished yet.
You want to know the real difference?
Let me see. I know how to fence and you don't?
Or I have class and you don't? Take your pick.
- Why, I oughta... - Ladies!
It's time to break up this little love fest. Annie. Hallie.
I mean Hallie, Annie. I mean... Whoa.
Sorry, ladies. Two pair. Read 'em and weep.
Time out.
So that's it? No more takers?
- I have nothing left. - No.
I'll take a whack at it.
Take a seat, Parker.
Deal me in.
On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
She said Leave this one alone
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll make you a little deal.
Loser jumps into the lake after the game.
Excellent.
Butt naked.
Even more excellent.
Start unzipping, Parker.
Straight. In diamonds.
You're good, James.
But just not good enough.
In your honor, a royal flush.
Love the birthday suit!
Ow, baby!
Grab her clothes!
Oh, right. Fine.
If that's the way you want it, then let the games begin.
I swear I heard your evil clone
sneezing all the way across the mess hall this morning.
I am so tired. I'm going back to bed and sleeping till lunch.
That does not seem like a possibility, babe.
- Why not? - That's why not.
No way.
Shh!
Oh, I hope they're sleeping.
The coast is clear. OK, come on.
- Pay-back time. - Don't wake her up!
Shh! Careful!
Got milk?
Eugh!
Eugh! Eugh! Eugh!
Oh... my... God.
Oh, she didn't get me. Huh.
Ah!
That girl is without a doubt
the lowest, most awful creature that ever walked the planet.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Morning, girls. - Morning, Marvas.
Marvas?!
Surprise inspection! Attention!
Navajos!
No, Marva, do not go in there.
One of the girls got sick last night and it is a big, big mess.
Save yourself the aggravation. It's really disgusting.
Well, if someone's sick, dear, then I must go in.
- Move aside, dear. - No, really. I insist.
I can't let you go in there. She's highly contagious. Honest.
Actually, we're all quite fine in here.
Unless Hallie Parker knows something we don't know.
Really, I insist. Open the door and come and see for yourself.
Stand aside, Hallie.
Ah!
No!
- I told you it was a mess. - She should know.
She did it!
You. And you.
Pack your bags!
OK, girls. The rest of you, back to your activities.
You two... The Isolation Cabin.
Oh.
Oh, gosh, it's stuck.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Oh, man.
- Oh, here's your... - Cuppy.
Any of your pictures ruined?
- The beautiful Leo DiCaprio. - Who?
You've never heard of Leonardo DiCaprio?
- How far away is London anyway? - From here it's 3,000 miles.
But sometimes it seems much further.
How far away is your home?
California is way at the other end of the country.
Here's a picture of my house.
Wow, it's beautiful.
Yeah. We built it when I was little.
We've got this incredible porch that looks over the vineyard.
- And then... - Who's that?
That's my dad. He didn't know I was taking the picture then.
He's kind of like my best friend.
We do everything together.
- What's the matter? - Oh, it's chilly in here.
That's all.
- Want one? - Oh, sure. I love Oreos.
At home I eat them with peanut butter.
You do? That is so weird! So do I.
You're kidding. Most people find that totally disgusting.
- I know. I don't get it. - Me either!
What's your dad like? Is he the kind of father you can talk to
or is he a workaholic type that says,
"I'll talk to you later, honey," but never does. I hate that.
I don't have a father, actually.
I mean, I had one once, I suppose.
But my parents divorced years ago.
My mother never even mentions him.
It's like he evaporated into thin air or something.
It's scary the way nobody stays together anymore.
- Tell me about it. - How old are you?
I'll be twelve on October 11.
So will I.
- Your birthday's on October 11? - Yeah.
- How weird is that? - Extremely.
Oh, hey, it's stopped raining.
You wanna go get a popsicle or something?
- What's the matter? - Hallie...
- What's your mother like? - I never met her.
She and my dad split up when I was a baby. Maybe even before.
I'm not sure. He doesn't like to talk about her.
But I know she was really, really beautiful.
How do you know that?
My dad had this old picture of her hidden in his sock drawer.
He caught me looking at it all the time so he gave it to me.
I'm really thirsty. Sure you don't want to get a lemonade?
Stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this!
- A time like what? - Don't you realize?
I mean, think about it.
I only have a mother and you only have a father.
You've never seen your mum and I've never seen my dad.
You have one old picture of your mum
and I have one old picture of my dad.
But at least yours is probably a whole picture.
Mine's a pathetic little thing,
crinkled and ripped right down the middle and...
What are you rummaging in your trunk for?
This. It's a picture of my mom. And it's ripped too.
Right down the middle?
Right down the middle.
This is so freaky.
OK. On the count of three, we'll show them to each other, OK?
OK.
- One... - Two...
three.
- That's my dad. - That's my mum!
That's the lunch bell.
I'm not so hungry anymore.
So if your mom is my mom
and my dad is your dad,
and we're both born on October 11,
then you and I are like... like sisters.
Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins.
I just don't know what to say.
- What's that you're holding? - My locket.
I got it when I was born.
It has an H on it.
I got mine when I was born too, except mine has an A on it.
Now I've got goose bumps.
My God, so I'm not an only child. I'm a twin.
I'm a twin. There's two of me. I mean, two of us.
- This is like... - Mind-boggling.
- Totally. - Completely.
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God!
Tell me, what's Mom like?
Well, she designs wedding gowns.
Really?
She's becoming quite famous, actually.
A princess in Greece just bought one of her gowns.
Wow.
You know, it's interesting.
Neither one of our parents ever got married again.
Has Dad ever been close to getting remarried?
Never. He always says I'm the only girl in his life.
Yeah. Mum's never come close either.
I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea.
I'm serious. I am a total genius.
You want to know what Dad is like, right?
- Right. - And I'm dying to know Mom.
So, what I'm thinking is... Don't freak out, OK?
I think we should switch places.
When camp's over, I'll go back to London as you
and you go back to California as me.
- What? - We can do it. We're twins.
Hallie, we're totally and completely 100% different.
So, what's the problem?
I'll teach you to be me and you teach me to be you.
Look, I can do you already.
Want to know the difference between us?
I have class and you don't.
Come on, Anne. I gotta meet my ma.
The truth is, you know,
if we switch, sooner or later they'll have to un-switch us.
And when they do they'll have to meet again... face to face.
- After all these years. - Thank you.
I told you I'm brilliant.
OK. This is Grandfather.
He's so cute! What do we call him?
- Grandfather. - Why didn't I think of that?
This is Martin. He's our butler.
- We have a butler? - Mm-hm.
OK. Living room's first. Then over here is the dining room.
But we never eat in there
except Thanksgiving and Christmas and October 11.
Believe in the magic that can set you free
Oh, talking 'bout magic
Do you believe like I believe Do you believe in magic
Do you believe, believer
Do you believe like I believe Do you believe in magic
OK. I'm ready.
- Don't shut your eyes! - Oh. OK. Right.
Sorry. Just got a little nervous.
You're nervous! An 11-year-old is cutting my hair!
- You sounded just like me. - I'm supposed to, aren't I?
Go on. Just do it.
Don't panic. You look great.
Looking good.
This is so scary.
Honey, you never looked better.
Oh, my God.
What?
I have pierced ears.
No, no, no and no. Not happening.
Sorry, wrong number. I won't. I refuse.
Then cutting your hair was a total waste
'cause I can't go to camp with pierced ears
and come home without them. I mean, come on, get real.
Needle sterilized.
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Relax. I've gone with all my friends to get their ears pierced.
It's nothing. Just close your eyes
and it'll be over before you know it.
- Earring ready? - Yes.
Good. Hand me the apple.
Thank you.
Just relax. I'm telling you, this is not a big deal.
On the count of three, remove the ice.
One... two... three.
Girls, time to say your last goodbyes. The buses are loading.
I'll see you guys next summer. I promise.
OK. So call me every single day.
All right. And write me. Don't forget.
OK. This is it.
So you're going to find out how Mum and Dad met.
And you'll find out why they broke up.
Annie James, your car is here.
That's you. Here's your ticket and passport.
Martin will pick you up at the airport.
- What time do you leave? - Not for a couple of hours.
- Give Mum a kiss for me. - And give Dad one for me.
Annie James, front and centre.
- Bye. - I love you.
Last call, Annie James.
Bye.
Good luck.
OK, this is it.
God, I hope she likes me.
Please like me.
Please.
- Annie! - Martin!
- Missed you. - Missed you.
- What's happened to your hair? - I cut it. Do you like it?
Love it. It's the new you.
And you've had your ears pierced.
Give me five, girlfriend.
There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
She calls my name
- Home again. - Thank you.
This is it. 7 Pembroke Lane.
Hello?
Ahem.
Grandfather?
- I'm home. - Is that my little girl?
That tall, gangly thing?
Yes. It's me.
Oh, welcome home.
- Did you have a good time? - Uh-huh. Great.
- What are you doing? - Just smelling.
- Smelling? - I'm making a memory.
Years from now, when I'm all grown up,
I'll always remember my grandfather
and how he always smelt of...
peppermint and pipe tobacco.
- Good to have you back. - Annie?
Annie?
- Mother. - You're back!
- I can't believe it's you. - And I can't believe it's you.
And with short hair. Who cut it for you?
A girl I met at camp. Do you hate it?
No, I absolutely love it.
You got your ears pierced?
Are there any other surprises? Belly-button rings? Tattoos?
Oh, darling, what is it?
I'm sorry. It's just... I've missed you so much.
Oh.
I know. It seems like it's been forever.
You have no idea.
So did you like everyone? Was it fun?
- Oh, Martin. - I found a stowaway.
- Oh, my God. Cuppy. - Cuppy?
He belongs to my friend. The one I was telling you about.
I can't imagine how he got into my suitcase.
Since he's not our Cuppy, shall we dispose of the creature?
No! I mean, no.
I'll mail him to her. She loves this thing a lot. A lot, a lot.
And she's like, slept with this thing her entire life.
She could never be like, say, in a foreign country without him.
No, no. I'll take care of it.
That will be all, Martin. Thank you.
Hello.
Oh, hi. How's the photo shoot going?
Mm. Well, can't you manage without me?
Annie only just got home from camp.
Mm. Yeah.
Here comes the sun Do-do-do-do
Here comes the sun And I say
It's all right
Little darling
OK. Hold on a moment. Annie.
Would you hate very much running down to the studio with me?
No, I'd love it.
Here comes the sun Do-do-do-do
Here comes the sun And I say
It's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun Do-do-do-do
Wow! That's incredible! You designed that?
I had to do something when you were at camp.
- You don't think it's too... - No, it's gorgeous. I love it.
You know who would look really beautiful in that gown?
- I mean like, really beautiful? - Who?
- You. - Me?
I think that time change has made you a little loopy.
Let's see what the fuss is about.
- OK. I'm here. - Ah, we're saved.
- Hi, Vendela. - What do we do with the veil?
It covers the back, if she doesn't wear it, it looks...
Incomplete. You're right.
Can you try turning sideways with your chin up?
Yeah, I see the problem. Can I have the veil?
Annie, darling, pass me one of those hats on display in the window.
- Me? - Yes.
- Which one do you like? - The white one.
Me too.
Try this.
Now throw the veil straight back.
That's it. Now spin around.
I wanna see the back. Beautiful. Did you get that?
Just how it falls down there. Don't worry about the bouquet.
You're married now. Learn to juggle.
Don't forget to look happy. It is your wedding day.
My mom is too cool.
I'll never let you go
Never, never gonna let you go
I'll never let you go
Hey, oh ma-ma-ma
Hey, oh ma-ma-ma, hey-ah
Never let you go
I'll never let you go
So doesn't designing all these wedding gowns
ever make you think about marrying again?
Or at least make you think about the F word?
- The F word? - My father.
Oh, that F word.
Well, no.
I didn't even wear a wedding gown when I married the F word.
You didn't? Why not?
Why the sudden curiosity about your dad, huh?
Maybe because he's never mentioned.
And you can't blame a kid for wondering.
You can't avoid the subject forever.
At least tell me what he was like.
OK. He was quite lovely, to tell you the truth.
When we met he was... actually, entirely lovely.
- All right? - All right.
- Did you meet him in London? - We met on the QE2.
- QE-what? - Queen Elizabeth 2.
It's an ocean liner that sails from London to New York.
I wasn't keen on flying then and neither was your father.
We met our first night on board. We were seated together.
- He's an American, you know. - No kidding!
So was it love at first sight?
I knew you were going to ask me all this one day.
Taxi!
Dear old Dad.
I wonder what he's doing at this very moment.
Thanks.
Oh, gosh. It's him.
Hey, Hal!
Welcome home, kiddo.
Get into these arms, you little punk.
Dad. Finally!
I hope you had a lousy time at that camp
because you are not going back. I missed you too much.
What happened to you, Hal? Something's changed.
Are you getting taller?
So, what's up, Dad?
I mean, how's Chessy and everybody?
Great. Everybody's great. Can't wait to see you.
Eight weeks really is too long, Hal.
A lot's been happening around here.
A lot's happened to me too, Dad.
I mean, I feel like I'm practically a new woman.
What's the matter? I cut myself shaving?
Well, it's just seeing you for the first time.
I mean, you know, in so long.
You look taller to me too, Dad.
Come on, squirt. Let's get home.
Oh, thanks for all those newsy letters.
I'm really glad I bought you that personalized stationery.
- We meant to write but we... - We?
Oh, me and my friend.
I met this girl at camp and we got really close.
- Great. - Practically like sisters.
- She was a lovely girl. - "Lovely girl"?
All of a sudden you're so proper?
- Still biting those nails. - Dad, you noticed!
Noticed? You've been biting them since you could chew.
But I've decided to stop, Dad. It's a horrid habit.
"Lovely girl. Horrid habit."
Did I send you to summer camp or finishing school?
And why do you keep saying "Dad" at the end of every sentence?
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing it, Dad.
Sorry, Dad.
Do you want to know why I keep saying "Dad"? The truth?
'Cause you missed your old man so much, right?
Exactly.
It's because in my whole life,
I mean, you know, for the past eight weeks,
I was never able to say the word Dad..
Never. Not once.
And if you ask me,
a dad is an irreplaceable person in a girl's life.
There's a whole day devoted to celebrating fathers.
Just imagine someone's life without a father.
Never buying a Father's Day card.
Never sitting on their father's lap.
Never being able to say, "Hi, Dad", or "What's up, Dad?"
or "Catch you later, Dad."
I mean, a baby's first words are always, "Dada".
Let me see if I get this.
You missed being able to call me "Dad"?
Yeah. I really have, Dad.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Now you're starting to sound like your old self.
Hello, gorgeous!
Oh, look at you!
Oh, you've grown!
Oh, we missed you so much!
Hey, don't let your old man talk you out of going back to camp.
- You need adventure. - OK.
- Are you hungry? - I made cornbread and chili.
Why are you so quiet? What's wrong?
Nothing. It's just... I'm so happy to be home.
Hey, did I hear something about cornbread and chili?
Yeah, it's on the stove. So...
Something's changed about you, Hal.
I can't put my finger on it,
but something about you has definitely changed.
Really? Well, it's just the same old me.
Honest.
Hi, Sammy!
What is wrong with you, you goofball? It's Hallie!
Oh, I probably just smell like camp, that's all.
What's the matter with you?
It's like you didn't even recognize her.
Wow, it's even better than the pictures.
OK, kiddo. What do you want to do first, huh?
You wanna eat and then unpack or uh...
we could unpack and then eat
or we could eat while we unpack.
You mean I can eat in my room?
Yeah, I'd say it's a definite possibility.
Hey, Hal, when you're done, come on down.
There's someone I want you to meet.
- OK, Dad. - OK, Hal.
Look at you. Always eating.
- Did you tell her? - No.
- Nicky! - Tell me what?
It is none of my business
how your father makes a fool of himself.
He's a big boy. He can do what he wants.
OK, OK. So who is she?
Her name's Meredith Blake.
She's a publicist from San Francisco.
Your father hired her to do some publicity for the vineyard.
She's doing a better job of selling herself than the grapes.
What do you mean?
Oi.
Your father's not some kind of suave, debonair,
bachelor-of-the-month type.
So, what does a hot young thing like that
see in a guy with his shirt-tail hanging out
and a cereal bowl full of chili?
Then I realize there's about a million reasons
why that girl's giggling.
All of them are at the Napa Valley Community Bank.
You mean, you don't think she even really likes him?
What do I know? But I'll tell you one thing.
She's got your father eating out of the palm of her hand.
They do everything together. They ride. They swim.
They go out to eat dinner every night.
Do you know what? Meet her. See for yourself.
Don't let me influence you.
There's my girl.
Honey, I want you to meet a friend of mine.
Hal, this is Meredith Blake.
Hi.
Hi, Meredith Blake.
Wow, I can't believe I'm finally meeting the famous Hallie.
I have looked forward to this all summer.
Really? Well, here I am.
Nicky, she's adorable.
The way your father talked about you, I expected a little girl.
But you are so grown up.
I'll be 12 soon. How old are you?
- 26. - Only 15 years old than me.
How old are you, Dad?
Suddenly you're interested in math.
I'm gonna go inside and get some more chili,
maybe a bottle of champagne to celebrate.
What are we celebrating?
Your homecoming, of course.
Be right back.
Meredith Blake.
Hello, Reverend Mosby.
Mm-hm. No, I understand it's for a local charity?
Oh, yes. I am writing it all down.
It sounds very worthwhile, I agree.
But Mr. Parker is going to be out of the country on those days.
Yes, absolutely. I will be sure to mention it to him.
Thank you.
So how was camp, Hal? Was it fabulous?
My dad's going out of the country?
Oh, no. I just had to tell a little white lie
to get him out of something.
You know, I have never heard a man talk about his daughter
the way Nicky talks about you.
You two are obviously incredibly close.
Well, you know, we're closer than close.
We're all each other has.
Sorry, did I get you wet, Mer?
Just a little, Hal.
Hey, guess what.
Your daddy took me riding the other day
and he let me ride your horse.
I hope that's OK with you.
Oh, sure. Sprout's used to strange women riding her.
Not that you're strange or anything.
Actually, compared to the others,
you're relatively normal.
Others? What others?
- You want the 411? - What's the 411?
The information. The low-down on other women. Can't blame you.
I'd want to know if I was number 28, I mean 29, in a man's life.
- I'm number 29? - Yeah.
It's always the same. Horseback riding through the vineyards.
Romantic dinners with his special reserve label wine.
- Moonlight swims. - Here we go.
A bottle of my special reserve label.
So, did you find something to talk about while I was gone?
- Does that mean yes? - It sure does.
Will somebody grab that, please?
James residence. Annie?
- Yes, Martin. - Dear, it sounds just like you.
I'm sorry. To whom did you wish to speak?
Annie? Of course.
One moment, please.
A Mildred Plotka for you. Sounds just like your twin.
My twin? Very funny. Good one, Martin.
Hello? Oh, Mildred, darling. Hi. How are you?
Hey, how's it going over there?
Everything's lovely. We're expecting rain today.
But Mildred, can you hold on for a moment?
OK, but hurry, Hal. I've got to talk to you.
OK. Now I can talk. Oh, my God, Mom's incredible.
I cannot believe I lived my entire life without knowing her.
She's beautiful and fun and smart
and I love the gowns she designs.
And I got her talking about how she and Dad met,
and if you ask me, there's...
Hallie, stop! We've got a major problem.
You have to bring mother out here immediately.
Immediately? Are you nuts? I've only had one day with her.
I'm just getting to know her. I can't. I won't.
But this is an emergency! Dad's in love!
Get out of here! Dad doesn't fall in love.
I mean, at least not seriously.
Trust me, he's serious about this one.
He's always holding her hand and kissing her neck
and waiting on her hand and foot.
- He is? - It's disgusting.
You'll just have to break them up. Sabotage it.
I'm trying but I'm at a slight disadvantage.
I only met the man twelve hours ago.
Hal, you've got to get back here to help me.
Annie, I can't. I want more time with Mom.
What's going on?
Are you still there? I can barely hear you?
- I'm here. - Operator?
- I think I lost you, Annie. - Hello?
Thanks for the help, Hal.
Ahem.
Hi. I had a phone call from a friend at camp.
It's an old camp tradition
to talk to your friend from inside a closet.
Kind of stupid, I know, but...
So. Breakfast, anyone?
OK. Here we go. Most important meal of the day.
Eggs sunny side up, bacon, side of toast,
and in case you're really hungry,
a stack of chocolate-chip pancakes,
which smell incredible if I do say so myself.
Thanks, Chessy.
You're not hungry again?
You hardly touched your chili and you don't want breakfast?
- Are you sick, honey? - I'm fine, I promise.
- Where's Dad? - Oh.
He and Miss I'll Just Have Half A Grapefruit left an hour ago.
You overslept and he didn't want to wake you.
I'd probably oversleep too
if I were up until midnight making mysterious phone calls from my bathroom.
Oh, that. I was calling a friend from camp. Mildred.
She lives in New York.
Oh, I see. So you wanted to wait and call Mildred
because of the time difference.
Exactly. Because of the time difference.
So you waited until it was 3:00 in the morning her time.
That makes perfect sense.
Actually... it was 7:00 at night her time.
She lives in New York
but she was on vacation with her family in Bora-Bora.
Mm-hm.
Very smooth.
OK, smarty pants, your father wants you
to meet him at his office.
He does? Thanks. I'm done.
Whoa!
That dog has gotten so weird.
Bye, Chessy. Thanks again for breakfast. It was great.
Push, Hal.
Sorry. I forgot.
Honey, I'm really glad you're here.
There's something I want to talk to you about.
That's funny. There's something I want to talk to you about.
- Yeah? Well, you go first. - No, you.
OK. I want to talk to you about Meredith.
And I want to talk to you about my mother.
- What about Meredith? - Well, what about your mother?
I'm almost 12. How long do you expect me to buy that story
that the stork dropped me on your doorstep?
Hal, we've talked about your mother.
No, we haven't. Not really.
I girl needs more than half a crumpled old photograph.
I'm almost a teenager. Face it. I need a mother.
You know what? You're right. You're absolutely right.
You do need a mother. Which brings me to...
- Meredith. - Hi.
- Hello, Hal. - Hi.
Hallie, this is my assistant, Richard.
This is Nick's daughter, the one I've told you about.
- Hello. How are you? - Hi there.
- Did you tell her? - Almost.
Hey, why don't we all have lunch on the terrace?
I promised Hal we'd hang out together this afternoon.
Oh, no problem. I've got plenty to do.
I'm working on a new label design, Nicky, featuring Y-O-U.
You're gonna love it. See you for dinner, darling.
- Bye, Hal. - Bye.
First change I make is to send that two-faced brat
off to boarding school in Timbuktu.
- Ooh, ice woman. - And proud of it, babe.
Come on, Dad!
OK, OK, you win! Hold on. Give that horse a rest.
Whoa, Sprout.
So honey, are you excited about our camping trip?
- What camping trip? - What camping trip?
The one we take every summer before you go back to school.
Oh, that camping trip! Yeah! Sure. I can't wait.
So uh... Hal...
- What do you think of Meredith? - As what, Dad?
Your publicist? Your friend? Your...
No, just, what do you think of her... as a person?
She's cute. She has nice hair. Good teeth.
She can spell the word "you".
Honestly, Dad, the woman is a complete stranger to me.
Why do you want my opinion anyway?
I'll tell you why, Hal. Because believe it or not...
- Race you back to the ranch! - Hal!
Hal, I'm trying to tell you something!
Hey! Slow down!
I'm in so over my head here.
I can't handle this. I just can't.
I'm only one kid.
Have you got something you want to share, Hal?
Chessy, you gave me a fright.
I gave you a fright?
You scared me. I didn't know you were like, in here.
Are you sure there isn't anything you want to talk about?
Like why Sammy never comes near you anymore?
Or why your appetite's changed?
Or why all of a sudden you're neat as a pin
and using expressions like "you gave me a fright"?
Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, that's all.
OK.
If I didn't know any better I'd say it's almost like you were...
Forget it. It's impossible.
Almost as if I were who, Chessy?
Nobody. Nobody. Forget I mentioned it.
Almost as if I were Annie?
- You know about Annie? - I am Annie.
- Oh... - Hal.
Why did you take off on me like that?
I told you I wanted to talk to you about something.
Chessy, why are you looking at her like that?
Like what? I'm not looking at her any special way.
I'm looking at her like I've looked at her for 11 years.
Since the day she came home from the hospital.
Six pounds, eleven ounces, 21 inches long.
This is how I look at her.
Can I hug her?
Oh, she's so beautiful!
And so big!
I'm gonna make you something special to eat.
What would you like? Anything?
I'm just gonna whip up everything we've got, OK?
All right.
Hal, come here.
- We have to talk. - OK, shoot.
OK.
Honey, I want to know what you think
about making Meredith part of the family.
Part of our family?
Yeah.
I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired.
- You do? - Brilliant. Really.
- You do? - It's a dream come true.
I've always wanted a big sister.
Oh.
Um... I think you're kind of missing the point.
No, I'm not. You're going to adopt Meredith.
That is so sweet, Dad.
No, I'm not going to adopt her.
I'm...
going to marry her.
Marry her? That's insane!
How can you marry a woman young enough to be my sister?
Hal... Hal...
Hal, calm down! Hal!
Are you speaking French?
I learned it at camp.
OK, I'm sorry.
Let's discuss this calmly and rationally.
Yeah, and in English if you don't mind, all right?
OK.
What has gotten into you?
Nothing. Nothing. Just...
Dad, you can't get married. It'll totally ruin everything.
Hal. Hal!
Hallie!
Don't look at me. I don't know a thing.
She thought I was going to adopt her?
- Hi, doll. - Hi.
Aw, you look stressed, baby.
- How about a martini? - How about a double?
Coming right up.
Chessy!
Don't you love it?
It's what just we need. It's such a big house. Chessy!
- You rang? - Two martinis, please.
And make Mr. Parker's a double.
Chess, please. I'm getting a migraine.
Mm-hm.
- I told Hallie. - You did?
- And? - She went ballistic.
She started yelling in French. I didn't know she spoke French.
I don't know what's gotten into her.
This reaction is totally classic.
It's Daddy's Getting Remarried 101.
I'd be worried if she didn't act this way.
Look, why don't I go talk to her? You know, woman to woman.
I think she's a little sensitive about you right now.
That's why I need to do it.
We've got to break the ice some time.
Wear your shirt like this.
I like it when I can see a little chest hair.
Knock, knock. Can I join you?
Sure.
Guess the news of the engagement came as a bit of a shock, huh?
Basically.
You know, I remember what it was like to be 11.
I had my first beau at 11. It's a wonderful age.
You're just starting to feel like a woman.
And believe it or not,
soon you'll understand what it's like to be in love.
Me? I don't think so.
I don't even have my 12-year-old molars yet.
Well, take it from someone who got their molars early in life.
Being in love is a fantastic mystery
that takes a man and a woman...
I don't mean to be jerky when you're trying to be all mushy,
but I know what mystery my dad sees in you.
You do?
You're young and beautiful and sexy
and hey, the guy's only human.
But marriage is supposed to be based
on something more than just sex, right?
Boy. Your father underestimates you.
But you won't, will you, Meredith?
Being young and beautiful is not a crime, you know.
And for your 411, I adore your father.
He's exactly the kind of man I always planned on marrying.
This is the real deal, honey,
and nothing you do is going to come between us.
Hate to break it to you, angel,
but you are no longer the only girl in Nick Parker's life.
- Get over it. - If this is the real deal,
then my dad's money has nothing to do with
you wanting to marry him, right?
OK, puss. You listen and you listen good.
I am marrying your father in two weeks
whether you like it or not.
So I suggest you do not tangle with me anymore.
You are in way over your head.
Is that clear?
Crystal.
Martin, a refill, please.
You must have grown three inches, I swear, in six weeks.
- Lovely choice of wine, Martin. - Thank you, sir.
May I have a sip?
I don't think you're gonna like it.
Well, if you ask me,
the bouquet's too robust for a merlot,
but then again, I'm partial to the softer California grape.
Has she learned about wine at the summer camp?
She must have!
Ah!
Darling, are you all right?
I had one sip too many, I guess.
You know, Mother, I feel like I could use a bit of fresh air.
Would it be OK if I stepped outside for a moment?
Would you like me to go with you?
No, I'll be fine. Just got a touch woozy, that's all.
Woozy, huh?
I'd like to place a collect call to America, please.
- Hello? - What's up?
Hal, I'm desperate. Dad's getting married.
- What do you mean? - I mean black tie, white gown,
the whole enchilada.
- What? - The wedding's in two weeks.
If there's any hope of getting Mum and Dad back together,
we've got to do it fast, and I mean really fast.
OK. So Mum and I are going out to the theatre tonight.
I'll drop the bomb on her first thing in the morning.
OK. Thanks.
And Hallie, hurry!
OK. I will.
Oh, excuse me, sir. Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Yes.
What say you and I take a little stroll in the park, young lady.
OK.
Now. Come on. What's this all about?
Well, it's a long story.
Well, it's a very big park and we've got plenty of time.
Well, first of all, I...
Just do it, sweetpea.
Come in. I have to finish this sketch
and FedEx it off to Paris,
then how about you and I spend the rest of the day in Harrods?
I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go out of town today.
Oh, you have to go out of town?
And where, may I ask, are you going?
Annie.
- Annie. - I have to go see Annie.
I see. And where might Annie be?
In Napa, with her father, Nick Parker.
You're not Annie?
That would be correct.
You're Hallie?
I am.
Annie and I met at the camp, and we decided to switch places.
I'm sorry, but I'd never seen you
and I dreamt of meeting you my whole life
and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad
so we sort of just switched lives.
I hope you're not mad because I love you so much
and I just hope that one day you can love me as me
and not as Annie.
Oh, darling.
I've loved you your whole life.
I've never been so happy in my entire life.
So I guess you have to switch us back now, huh?
Well, technically, you belong to your dad
and Annie belongs to me.
His and hers kids. No offence, Mum, but this arrangement sucks.
I agree. It totally sucks.
Then I say we fly to Napa, see Annie and Dad
and work this whole thing out.
And I say you're right.
Not to worry. I'll take care of everything.
You're not to worry, OK?
I'm sorry. I can't handle this.
I haven't seen or heard from Nick Parker in over 11 years
and suddenly I'm flying halfway across the world to...
I'm not mature enough for this.
If the man didn't make me nuts, I'd still be married to him.
We came up with this arrangement
so we'd never have to see each other again.
I mean, look at me, Martin. Have you ever seen me like this?
Don't answer that. I mean, what if he doesn't recognize me?
No, don't answer that either.
So Hallie said he was a... a hunk?
He was rather dishy.
He had a smile that could make me go weak at the knees.
- OK, I'm all set, Mom. - Great. Me too. Almost.
Mom, your suitcase is like, totally empty.
Oh. Right. Sorry.
Um... did you speak to your father, dear?
Um... yeah. I just hung up with him.
He said he's really anxious to see you.
Anxious-nervous, like he's totally, completely dreading it,
or anxious-excited, like he's looking forward to it?
- Anxious-excited, definitely. - Oh.
He'll meet us tomorrow at the Stafford Hotel, in San Francisco.
My, my, that's incredibly soon, isn't it?
Um... why don't you run downstairs
and gather our tickets from your grandfather while I finish up?
- OK. - Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Shh!
Martin, I have a ridiculous, somewhat childish request to make.
You know you're more than a butler to me.
You're more like a lovable brother who waits on us and...
- I was wondering if... - I'd accompany you on the trip?
- Make it easier for you? - Would you, Martin? Thank you!
You don't even have to come as our butler. Just as a friend.
Madam, I'd be honored. And may I say, as a friend,
if I were seeing my ex after 11 years
and I had your legs... I'd wear this little baby.
You'll kill in it.
- Bye, Daddy. - Bye, darling.
- Wish me luck. - Good luck.
- Bye, Pop. - Bye, Hal.
You're coming to Napa for Thanksgiving?
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Bye.
Oh, and say hello to your father for me.
I will.
Airport, please.
OK. They'll be here any minute.
Be nice, Daddy. He's everything you wanted for your little girl.
- Plus millions more. - Then you know I'll be nice.
Oh. OK. There he is.
With the whole motley crew.
Hi, darling!
Hallie. Chessy.
And Sammy. What in the world are you doing here?
- Honey, a dog at the Stafford? - Hal begged me to bring him.
You're such a softie.
- Oh! - Good doggie.
So, Meredith, these the folks?
Yes. Mum, Dad, you finally meet.
This is my fiancee and the love of my life, Nicholas Parker.
Hello, Nicholas. I'm so pleased to meet you.
- I'm Vicki. - Hi.
And this is Nick's adorable daughter, Hallie.
This entire prenuptial get-together was her idea.
How are you, young lady?
We've heard wonderful things about you.
Hello, pet.
You may call me Aunt Vicki.
- Other end, madam. - Whoops.
That was a great flight, wasn't it? It was so quick.
I've never seen you quite so thirsty before.
Would you believe I've never tasted vodka before this trip?
Could have fooled me, ma'am.
Come on. Let's rock'n'roll.
I am in such major trouble here.
I think that room is perfect for the wedding.
Not too big, not too cramped.
I like the idea of having the wedding at the house
but this could be amazing.
So I've already checked us in. Why don't we go and freshen up
and then rendezvous for lunch?
- Great. - Meet you in the bar in ten.
Perf.
Sweetheart, now that we're here,
why don't we go check out the honeymoon suite?
I bet it is to die for.
Whoops. I forgot my bag.
Hey, hang on! Sammy!
Sammy!
- Sammy! - Did you find a beige...
Thank you.
- Mum! - You didn't have to wait.
I could have found the room by myself.
Besides, I need to get a little fresh air.
Go on, sweetie. I'll meet you upstairs.
I like that jacket. Were you wearing that on the plane?
- Look out! - Ooh, sorry.
She's drunk!
She's never had more than one glass of wine in her life,
and she chooses today to show up totally zonked.
Just do what the woman says and meet her upstairs.
That's why they make Do Not Disturb signs.
Alone at last.
Hallie Parker!
Oh, don't do this to me. I'm already seeing double.
- It's me, Mum. Annie. - Oh, darling!
You look wonderful!
Oh, my girls!
I can't believe you're together! But how could you do this to me?
Ahem. Excuse me, I hate to interrupt
but might I suggest that we continue
this little powwow inside?
Hi. You probably don't remember me.
Chessy!
I knew I always liked her.
One of you, I'm not sure which at the moment, but one of you
told me your father knew I was arriving here today.
I'm here to tell you that the man I just saw in the elevator
had absolutely no idea he and I were on the same planet
let alone in the same hotel.
- You saw Dad already? - Yes, I did.
The man went completely ashen,
like I was the bloody Ghost of Christmas Past!
Can one of you get something cold for my head?
I've pondered what it was going to be like
to see your father after all these years.
Me waving like a mindless idiot
while Nick's wrapped around another woman
is not exactly the scenario I had in mind.
No, sirree.
Martin! What are you doing?
Going for a dip, madam. Do you mind?
No, no, no. That's perfectly perfect. Have fun.
- Someone ought to. - Hello.
- Hello. Hello to you. - This is our butler, Martin.
How do you do? I'm her butler.
Enchante, mademoiselle.
Gee. The pleasure's all mine, monsieur.
Girls, you were going to tell me why you lied
and brought me here without telling your father.
Were they? OK, that's good.
I'm gonna go back to my room and check out the mini bar.
- Allow me to assist you. - Wait.
Does everyone here know something I don't know?
Mum, Daddy's getting married.
To Cruella De Vil. She's awful, Mum. We can't let him do it.
She's all wrong for him,
and the only way he won't marry her is...
You tell her. She knows you better.
Is if he sees you again.
Wait a minute. You're not trying to set me up with your father.
Actually, we are. You're perfect for each other.
Hold it! You two knew about this?
What? Oh, no.
Madam, no, absolutely not. I had no idea.
Yes. Technically, I had an inkling, anyway.
- Hallie told me the story... - It was their idea.
- I'm an old romantic. - So am I.
OK. OK. Let me say this loud and clear.
Nick Parker and I have absolutely nothing in common...
anymore.
Plus, if you hadn't noticed, he seems extremely content
with his leggy, tight-skirted, bare-backed fiancee.
I want you two to explain to your father
that I am here for one purpose and one purpose only,
and that is to switch the two of you back.
Now, let's do what we have to do and be done with it.
Understood?
- Hey, Dad. - Just going down to the lobby.
Do me a favor, will you? Will you look after Meredith for me?
- Thanks. Hallie. - Yeah?
How do I look? Presentable and everything?
- Not too old? - You look fab, Dad.
Young and fab.
Dad!
I thought you were gonna keep Meredith company?
I was? I mean, I am, yeah.
I was just looking for her, actually.
It's great to see you, Dad.
It's great to see you too, squirt.
- Nice outfit. - Oh, thanks.
Go on. Get up there. Come on.
Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah
Why don't you and I combine
Let's get together...
- Have you seen your father? - You talking to me?
What are you, Robert De Niro? Yes, I am talking to you.
Oh, Meredith.
- Yeah, I just saw him. - Well, hello. Where was he?
Uh... he went that-a-way, I think.
- What are you staring at? - Nothing. Nothing.
You're just really very pretty, that's all.
Don't tell me you're gonna break your rotten streak
and suddenly be nice to me?
If you see your father, tell him he's late and I'm waiting.
Whatever you say, Cruella.
Here you go. This will cure anything you've got.
- Just don't ask what's in it. - OK.
Here's to... Here's to you.
May your life be far less complicated than mine.
Thank you.
Martini, dry, please.
I beg your pardon. I think I just drank tar.
Here's your martini. And your bill, Miss James.
Thank you.
You're Elizabeth James?
Guilty.
Oh! I just saw a wedding dress you designed in Vogue
and fell completely in love with it.
I faxed your office and they said you were out of town.
I can't believe it! It's fate.
- I'm Meredith Blake. - How do you do?
Sorry.
- Excuse me. - Excuse me.
Where have you been?
Nicholas, I think this hotel is perfect for the wedding.
The more I see of it, the more I like it.
Me too.
Absolutely.
Now tell me, dear, how many are we expecting from your side?
Just a guess-timate.
Can I get back to you on that? I'm not sure at the moment.
Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry.
- Boss, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Watch out!
- Hello, Liz. - Hello, Nick.
Well, gosh, there you are. What do you know?
Is there something going on here?
Because I'm stunned to see you.
But uh... you don't seem as stunned to see me.
I mean, I haven't seen or heard from you in 10, 11 years.
- All of a sudden on the very... - Dad.
I can explain why she's here.
Hallie, you know who this is?
Actually, yes, and actually, I'm not Hallie.
Actually, I am.
Both of them?
Annie? Hallie?
I guess you and Mum think alike
'cause you both sent us to the same camp
and we met there and the whole thing just sort of spilled out.
They switched places on us, Nick.
You mean I've had Annie with me all this time?
Well, I wanted to know what you were like
and Hallie wanted to know Mum.
- Are you angry? - Oh, honey, of course not.
I just can't believe it's you!
Last time I saw you, you had diaper rash!
Sorry, you're all wet. Look at you!
Well, I'm quite grown up now and quite without a father.
And I'm headed into my crazy mixed-up teenage years
and I'll be the only girl I know without a mother to fight with.
Hallie, you've been in London all this time?
Come here, squirt.
Mum's amazing, Dad. I don't know how you ever let her go.
Girls, why don't you let your father and I
talk alone for a couple of minutes, OK?
- Sure. Fine. - Take your time.
I don't believe this.
Seeing them together and seeing you.
- Ow. - Let me help you with that.
- Do you have a first-aid kit? - Yeah, of course.
Why don't you lie down?
- Here you go. - Thanks.
So, how are you, Lizzie?
Or does everyone call you Elizabeth now?
Oh, no, Lizzie's fine.
My dad still calls me Lizzie.
Yeah, I've been terrific.
You know, you haven't changed a bit.
Finally. There you are. Oh. Uh... Oh, good, you've met.
Honey, Elizabeth designs wedding gowns and she's going to make...
Wait. I don't understand.
How did you two meet and Nicky, why are you all wet?
You're making my fiancee's wedding gown?
I didn't know she was your fiancee.
How did we meet? How did you two meet?
Am I missing something here?
- This is one small world. - How small?
- Hi, Mer. - Hello.
How're you doing?
Honey, did I ever mention to you that Hallie was a twin?
No, I'm afraid you forgot that little detail.
Don't feel bad, Mer. He never mentioned it to me either.
By the way, I'm the real Hallie. This is Annie.
She was pretending to be me
while I was pretending to be her.
And this is our mother, Elizabeth James.
- This is your mother? - Yes.
- You were married to him? - Guilty again.
- Well, this is a small world. - And getting smaller.
What a coincidence that we're all here on the same weekend.
My, my, my. How sweet.
Hal, I've had enough surprises for one day.
Please just tell me where we're going.
You're gonna love it, Dad. Trust me.
Hello.
Hey.
So uh... do you have any idea where they're taking us?
- Not a clue. - Right.
Where are we?
This is where we're eating?
No, actually, that's where we're eating.
She's ours for the night.
Wow. So how exactly are we paying for this?
Well, we pooled our allowances.
Yeah, right. Annie.
OK. Grandfather chipped in a bit.
- Annie. - OK. He chipped in a lot.
Come on. You guys are gonna love it.
Pretty snazzy.
Elizabeth and Nick, your dinner awaits you.
Girls!
- The table's only set for two. - Oh.
That's the other part of the surprise.
We're not joining you.
- You're not? - No, but I am.
Good evening. I'm Chessy. I'll be your server this evening.
- No wisecracks, please. - I'm Martin, your sommelier.
May I offer you both a taste of the bubbly
in the hope that you'll get schnockered
and not fire this lovely lady and myself
for following the orders
of these audacious 11-year-olds?
Annie, mood music, please.
I love you...
Just relax. Sail through time.
Back to yesteryear.
I hope you do believe me
- You get all this, don't you? - Yes, I'm beginning to.
They're recreating the night we met.
- The boat. The music. - The help.
It's so sweet.
Martin, I think I'll take that drink.
Thank you, Martin.
- Ahem. - Oh, yeah.
To tell you the truth, I haven't been on a boat since the QE2.
Neither have I.
- Well, then. Here's to... - Our daughters.
Our daughters.
Now I know how a goldfish feels.
You know, some time if we're ever really alone,
maybe we could talk about what happened between us.
It all feels a bit hazy to me now.
It ended so fast.
It started so fast.
Well, that part I remember perfectly.
Looks like things are heating up nicely.
I'd say it's safe to serve the vichyssoise.
You ladle, I'll serve.
Sorry.
Yes, I'll... ladle.
- And I'll... - Serve.
- Right. - Right.
So, you've done fantastically well.
Your dream of owning your own vineyard.
- It actually came true. - What about you?
You were always drawing on napkins and newspapers.
- Now you're a major designer. - Yeah, it's great.
We both actually got where we wanted to go.
Yeah. We did.
Anyway, what are we going to do about the girls?
Now that they've met, we can't keep them apart.
Well, I could keep them for half the year, then you could keep...
They can't go to two different schools every year.
- That's nuts. - I agree.
Then I could keep them for a whole year and you could....
- That's why we came up with... - Mm-hm.
Oh, sorry. Ignore me. Enjoy your soup.
That's why we came up with the solution that we have.
Really? I thought it was because
we decided never to see each other again.
Not "we", Liz.
That part's become a bit hazy to me too over the years.
- You forget the day you packed? - That day I remember perfectly.
Did I hurt you when I threw that um... what was it?
It was a hair dryer.
Oh, right. Sorry.
You know, I may never be alone with you again,
so about that day that you packed.
- Why did you do it? - Oh, Nick.
We were so young. We both had tempers.
We said stupid things and so I packed,
got on my very first 747, and you didn't come after me.
I didn't know that you wanted me to.
Well, it really doesn't matter anymore.
So let's just put a good face on for the girls
and get this show on the road, huh?
Yeah, sure. Let's get this show on the road.
Your passport. Have a safe trip home.
Thank you.
- All set, then? Where's Annie? - She's on her way down.
Right.
I'll send Hallie to you over Christmas.
And Annie will spend Easter with you.
What are you doing? We've got a plane to catch.
Here's the deal, Mom.
We thought it over and decided we were being gypped.
Dad promised we'd go on a camping trip.
- And we want to go. Together. - What camping trip?
The one we go on every summer before school starts.
Annie, go upstairs and put your clothes on.
- Are you sure I'm Annie? - Of course I'm sure.
But it's hard to be 100% positive, isn't it?
Girls, this is totally unfunny.
You're gonna make your mother miss her plane.
- Annie. - Yes?
This one's Hallie. I'm positive.
I hope you're right, Dad.
You wouldn't want to send the wrong kid back to England.
Would you?
Here's our proposition.
We go back to Dad's house, pack our stuff,
and the four of us leave on the camping trip.
- The four of us? - And when you bring us back,
we'll say who's Annie and Hallie.
Or we do as we say and I take one of you back to London
whether you like it or not.
What am I supposed to do for three days? Sit home and knit?
Honey, we have kind of a sticky situation here.
Sticky situation?
What do you mean, sticky situation?
What exactly...
Excuse me. What is she doing here?
See, that's part of the deal. The four of us, we go together.
- Are you the Brady Bunch? - Hello. Everything all right?
No, actually, it isn't.
I didn't realize that you were going on this outing,
and I'm not sure that I'm OK with it.
I agree.
I think the ex-wife in the next sleeping bag is a little weird.
- Thank you. - I insist you come with us.
- Really. - Liz...
Honestly, I've messed up your entire week.
It's the least I can do. Really. Please.
- Dad, what's Meredith doing? - Your mother invited her.
- What? - Be nice.
OK. All set? Have fun, everyone.
- What? - Liz, what are you doing?
Well, I think you and Meredith
need some time alone before the big day.
Mom, come on. That's not the plan.
You'll have much more fun without me.
Wait, wait. If you're not going, I certainly don't have to go.
Trust me, I'm not a big nature girl.
This is your chance to get to know the girls.
I mean, after all, starting next week, they're half yours.
Have fun, all of you.
Bye!
Oh, I would pay big money to see that woman climb a mountain.
Whoa!
Come on, you guys.
Whoa. I'm gonna kill my trainer.
He says I'm in such great shape.
I can't believe people actually do this for fun.
- Hold on. We're stopping. - Again?
Dad, it'll take us three days just to get to the lake.
Meredith isn't used to the altitude. Just chill.
OK?
Oh! I'm in serious pain.
Somebody hand me my Evian. I can't move.
Sure.
Brilliant.
Here you go, Mer.
Honey, are you OK? What happened?
This little guy was on her Evian bottle.
- Oh. He won't hurt you, Mer. - Oh, right, right.
I know. You go ahead.
I'll be fine.
Get that thing away from me! I hate things that crawl.
How can you touch that? Just put it down.
OK, OK, I'll put it down.
- Girls. - What?
I'm going to take the lead. The two of you help Meredith.
- All right? - Sure you'll help me.
Right over a cliff you'll help me.
- Not a bad idea. - Yeah, see any cliffs?
Oh, my backpack!
Need a hand, Mer?
Not from you, thank you.
Don't think I can't see right past those angelic faces.
One more trick from you two and I will make your lives miserable
from the day I say "I do".
Got it?
Got it, Cruella.
What did you call me?
Nothing, nothing. Not a thing, Cruella.
Oh, by the way, Mer...
I think there's something on your head.
Are you all right?
What happened?
Ask them.
What did we do, Dad? We were right behind you.
- This is really good. - I know.
Here we go, girls. This will hold us for a while.
Sure you don't want some trout, Mum?
Is that OK, by the way, if we start calling you Mum?
Your mother would prefer if you called me Meredith.
And no thank you. I do not eat trout, for the thousandth time.
I will wait until breakfast. What are we having?
Trout.
Come on, it's part of the experience.
What's the other part? Being eaten by mosquitoes?
God, you'd think they actually liked this stuff.
What's that you're using? Let me see that.
You'll attract mosquitoes with this. It's sugar and water.
Where did you get it?
That's it. I am taking one large sleeping pill
and going to bed.
Meredith, what are you doing?
I don't want the mountain lions to...
There are no mountain lions up here, are there?
No.
Good night.
Girls, I'm telling you, lay off. This isn't her thing, OK?
I'm not marrying Annie Oakley.
- Who's Annie Oakley? - Just cool it.
- Come on, come on. - OK.
I hope that one large sleeping pill worked.
- You take that side. - All right.
- Gosh, she's heavy. - She's also like, snoring.
Nicky?
Sweet dreams, Mommy dearest.
That feels nice.
Nicky!
Oh, man.
- What's going on? - Here's what's going on, buddy.
When we get married I'm shipping those brats to Switzerland.
Get the picture? It's me or them.
Take your pick.
Them.
- Excuse me? - T-H-E-M. Them.
Get the picture?
Hello. You're back so soon.
- Did you have fun? - I wouldn't go right to fun.
- You wouldn't? - We're being punished forever.
Starting now. Go.
Where's Meredith?
We played a couple of tricks on her
and she freaked out a little.
A little? Hm.
She threw this at my head.
At least it's smaller than a hair dryer.
Oh, it's all my fault. If I hadn't suggested she go...
Tricked. Tricked would be more like it.
Like mother like daughters.
- I really am sorry. - We are too, Dad.
- Really. - Up to your room.
Now.
I've got to remember to thank them one day.
So where's Chessy? I'm starving.
Well, she and Martin went off on a picnic around noon...
- Yesterday. - Really?
Who would have thought? My nanny, your butler. Hm.
So, what do you say I whip us up something to eat?
- You can cook now? - Oh, yeah.
I can make pasta. And pasta.
Mm, pasta sounds good.
Pasta it is.
OK. I'll take two.
- Hey, Dad. - Wow, you look so nice.
Where are you going?
Good night, ladies.
Oh, wow!
This is where I keep my private stash.
Did you know I also collect wine?
- Really? - I'm a man of limited interest.
This is an 1921 burgundy.
The rain that year made this the best burgundy ever harvested.
Oh.
Now, you will appreciate this. Come here.
Look.
VJ Day, 1945. That's incredible!
I love that.
This is the same wine that was served at my parents' wedding.
Bordeaux, '52.
I think my sister was conceived on this baby.
What's this one? "Where dreams have no end, 1983."
That one actually took me years to track down.
Why? Where's it from?
It's the wine that we drank at our wedding.
I now have every bottle ever made.
You do?
I do.
Can we open one?
You're the only one I'd drink it with.
- You OK? - Oh, yeah.
I just got dust in my eye.
I can offer you a clean sleeve.
No, no. I'm fine, really. All better.
You don't always have to be so brave, you know.
Oh, but I do, actually.
That will be Chessy.
She has a key.
Hello. Anybody home?
We'll be right up.
Oh, every time
We say goodbye
I die a little
Every time
We say goodbye
I wonder why a little
Why the gods above me
Who must be in the know
Think so little of me
- Take care of yourself. - Yeah, I will.
You too.
Bye.
- I love you. - I love you too.
I can hear
A lark somewhere
Begin to sing about it
There's no love song finer
But how strange the change
From major to minor
Every time
We say goodbye
Hello. We're home.
- Grandfather. - I'll check the study.
Hey, stranger.
Hey, did you know the Concord gets you here in half the time?
Yes, I've heard that.
What are you doing here?
It took us around 30 seconds after you guys left
for us to realize we didn't want to lose you again.
We?
We.
I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Lizzie.
I'm not gonna do that again, no matter how brave you are.
And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees
and fall into your arms and cry hysterically
and say we'll figure this out, a bi-continental relationship,
with our daughters being raised here and there and...
And you and I just picking up where we left off and...
and growing old together and... and...
Come on, Nick. What do you expect?
- To live happily ever after? - Yes.
To all of the above.
Except you don't have to cry hysterically.
Oh, yes, I do.
We actually did it!
This will be the everlasting love
This will be the one I've waited for
This will be
The first time anyone has loved me
I'm so glad He found me in time
And I'm so glad that he rectified my mind
This will be an everlasting love for me
Whoa
Loving you is some kind of wonderful
Because you've shown me just how much you care
You've given me the thrill of a lifetime
And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare
This will be an everlasting love
Oh, yes, it will now
You've brought a lot of sunshine into my life
You've filled me with happiness I never knew
You gave me more joy than I ever dreamed of
And no one, no one, can take the place of you
This will be you and me
Yes, sirree, eternally
Huggin' and squeezin' and kissin' and pleasin
Together forever through rain or whatever
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you and me
So long as I'm livin' true love I'll be givin'
To you I'll be servin' cause you're so deservin'
You're so deservin'
From now on From now on
From now on, From now on
From now on